Pushing for Positivity – Part 1

0:02 - On this episode of Extra Shot of Leadership, we're going to discuss pushing Positivity for your team.

0:07 - This will be a good continuation from last week where we talked about how does the leader stay positive. This week is going to be all about your team.

0:23 - Hey, Kim, how's it going?

0:25 - Hey, Pepper. I am ready for episode three already. Episode three. I can't believe it. And I'm Super excited about this topic of how do you help your team stay positive. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it, and I think I'm just going to enjoy it because this is an area where I feel like as a leader, I do pretty good, but I'm always looking for ways to improve. How do I do better? What else can I do? I'm just looking forward to what am I going to learn today? Yeah.

0:52 - On our second episode, we talked a lot about our own individual Positivity. What do you do? What do I do? We were mindful of how do we keep the Positivity in our life this next episode. I love it, too. I'm really stoked about having this conversation because it is about how we as leaders stay positive and what are some of the things that we might do in pushing Positivity within our teams? How do we keep our teams focused on the positive? Because that is, in my opinion, that is the number one thing for leaders, is bringing the Positivity even when we aren't feeling all of that positive. And so I know for me, I've got a couple of things that I do. I know you want to talk about a couple of things. I want to hear what you're doing as well.

1:37 - I love that what you said. Pushing for positive. So, Pepper, I'm sure there are specific things that you have learned along your journey because you help coach and encourage other leaders, even in the community. So what are some ideas that you can share that may help some other leaders?

1:53 - There are three very specific things that I think about, not a daily basis, but in some sort of a routine that I continue to think and drive for. One of the things I think about is just the size of a team. Some leaders are managing teams that are smaller, and I think smaller teams, maybe two people, three people, larger teams, maybe they have ten people reporting to them. Or even they have layers within their organization. And what I've seen is the importance around messaging and the importance around really thinking about those positive messages that leaders can infuse their teams with. And there's some things that I do on the teams that I work in the past, teams that I'm working with, as you mentioned in the community, I'm. Going to focus in on what are the positive things that are coming out versus focusing in on what we could be doing better. We can always do that's kind of my belief system and the way that my brain works is there's always room for improvement. I'm always going to pick things apart. You heard that in episode two. But I work very hard at identifying what are all of the things that are going well, and I'm going to send that out in various ways, various avenues on a weekly basis. I absolutely concerted effort to do that.

3:17 - Yeah, that's good. And I've watched you do that. I think you absolutely do a great job of that. And you challenge other leaders to do that. It just brings me back to a program we were working on years ago. I don't know, maybe it was 2013, 2014, and we were working with a group of folks and trying to get them to build their own training program, basically, and they'd start to talk about what they need to fix this, and they need their group to do that, and they've got to get them to change this, and we need them to do that. And so there was this laundry list of things that they needed to fix or change. And you would come in with what are they doing well. Right. Can we just start with what are they doing, because they're doing something well, they obviously are.

4:00 - Absolutely.

4:01 - But what is that? And are we verbalizing that back to the teams, not only into the program, but just into those leaders and those managers of be sure to talk to your team about what's going well. Good job. Yeah.

4:12 - And I think if we don't do. That as leaders, if we don't provide any sort of, hey, good work. Here's what's going well on the team. Here's the positive energy. If we don't do that, I do think that our team members will fill in some of those missing pieces of information, and that fill in can sometimes be the Mark is missed. Right. They're not thinking about things potentially from that positive lens. And the absence of communication might just take them down a negative path. Right. Things aren't good enough. There's nothing to be happy about. There's nothing to be satisfied with. And I think it's important for leaders to find that moment of this is what I want to applaud you all on. Thank you for doing this, or here's what's going well and really doing that over it's not a one and done it's not a once a month. I think that is something that is so important for our leaders. If it's face to face, if it's through email or phone call, whatever Avenue that it is, it is important to do.

5:21 - Absolutely. Was there any time in your leadership where you just learned that lesson because of something that went wrong or something that went well, or was it just something that you gradually just kind of added to?

5:34 - No, it was a very specific situation. I was working with someone, and I remember one time we were having a conversation and I was asking for something I don't remember specifically, but it was clear that I was asking for something more than what was already being done. And the individual looked at me and they said to me, Are you ever satisfied? Is it ever good enough? I mean, they literally said those words to me. And I just thought, gosh, of course it's great. And the response was, well, you never say that. You never, ever say, here's all the stuff that's good. Here's the things, the minor things that need to get tweaked. And in that moment, it did. It put me on my heels. And I just thought, what a shame. I have not recognized or I have not taken the opportunity to show some level of appreciation or show some level of excitement around all of the work that was being done. And all the organization was hearing from me was do more tweak. This not good enough. And in that moment, yes, I did. I told myself I was like, I can't allow that. That's unfair. I'm not giving them what's due in terms of all the hard work that they're putting forth.

6:51 - Well, it's cool one that you had someone that was willing to just push a little bit and say, hey, something here just doesn't feel right. And I need more. I want more. I want to hear something different and get on you for hearing it, for listening, because sometimes, you know, leaders can be defensive or they can just not even hear it and just let it go. So, Pepper, what is next on your list?

7:15 - Next on my list is a very basic thing, but I got to tell you a quick story about how I got to this. And it takes me back to about 15 years. And I remember doing some research. I remember watching a video, and the. Video was for newer leaders. And the conversation was around what you could do as a leader. What were some of the things that you could start doing right away? And the focus was on this gentleman. I remember his name, his name was Marvin. And it was all about how Marvin could improve his leadership, his team, what he was doing, and he could do it all with three simple questions. Okay, now I don't remember two of the three. I only remember one. And I've seen it used since then effectively over and over and over. The question is, how's the team doing? It's a basic question, pretty simple. It's very, very simple. And I've used it from time to time. But really, in my experience, I've seen leaders who use that question and who are very effective in understanding very quickly how their team or others teams are doing. It's interesting, and it's a simple thing. And I cannot overstate the effectiveness of how's the team doing right.

8:37 - I mean, it's just important how the team is doing. But I can also see how leaders can just get kind of tunnel vision and get focused in on the business and what we're doing, especially when it's high project time or a lot of work time or that season where they have the majority of their work kind of coming through the office so they can just get tunnel vision and focused on the technical stuff and forget to kind of look up and see what the pulse of the organization is. So I can see how that would be very beneficial to have even another leader or a colleague reach out and say, hey, how's your team doing? Just to spark your mind a little bit to go, I don't know. We're really busy. They're working really hard. But how is the team? What's the pulse? What's the energy?

9:21 - What's the vibe I've found over time? It's an easy question to ask, and it's an easy question that can launch into a really rich discussion. So you ask the question, how is the team doing? And they say, you know what? The team is great. Well, my next question is what's so great about it? Why is it great? Because I want my team to be just as great as your team is. So I love engaging in that conversation with all leaders across the organization that I work with because I want to hear from them. How's your team doing?

9:52 - I love those discussions between colleagues. They're just beneficial. You just kind of feed off each other and you learn from each other. That's cool.

9:59 - It's just a very easy question that I think all leaders can tuck in, and I would love to hear from those who are listening. What is your question that you ask to understand the status of teams that you're working with.

10:11 - So I like that. And what I find interesting is how different the atmosphere and attitudes of teams can be even when they work very closely together, even when they're all working towards the same goal. But the pulse or the buzz about various teams can be very different. And what I see, it's often the direct reflection of the leader and the level of not necessarily self awareness, but almost team awareness, awareness of are they in tune with their teams? Are they aware of what others see and hear in their team, be it good or bad? And do they manage the pulse of their team and the heartbeat of their team?

10:53 - And I think about somewhere I've read or a quote where it's the team is a reflection of the leader. And that's really why for me, episode number two is so important because I do think leaders have to look in the mirror and say to themselves, what type of energy am I emitting? What is coming out? What are people seeing? What are they reflecting? And once you really start to dig into what you are doing on a day to day basis, then you can move on to thinking about the team. But sometimes I do think leaders, they'll look at the team and they'll say My team is struggling and will not necessarily look at themselves. And I think that is so important that the leader really think about. They are my reflection. They are reflecting what I am giving off every day. I need to do something different, and that's hard. It is hard. Sometimes as leaders, we're struggling. Just whatever's going on in our organizations, whatever it is, and we do, we have bad days. There's no doubt about it. Just how many bad days are we having? And do we have some level of self control over around. Okay. I cannot have another bad day. I got to turn this ship around.

12:13 - Yeah. And it's going to be really hard. I don't even know that it's not possible to have a positive team when your leader is a positive. And so when the leader comes asking the question, how do I keep my team positive? I think that first step is look in the mirror and say, Am I positive? Am I emitting positive energy?

12:35 - I think that's the first step I always think about when I hear various teams are struggling. My very first question is going to be who's leading? And I want to understand the leadership style, the leadership approach, and I think that's the number one place to start.

12:51 - Yeah. Is there anything else on your list?

12:54 - So I have one more. And when I think about driving positive teams and creating a positive environment for teams, one of the tools I think is fantastic is team building.

13:06 - Okay.

13:07 - And I think about the teams that I've worked with or the teams that I've been on. When I think about team building, there can absolutely be what I call the one and done approach. You have your team come together and maybe they spend a day together outside of the normal day to day work tasks. We all know what team building has been. We've participated in them. Maybe I know you have. I know I have. But you spend a day and you're going to collaborate, you're going to troubleshoot some issue. You're going to work through a variety of challenges. You're going to build on your team communication. You're going to do a number of things. So that's one Avenue around team building. Now, when I think about team building, I just see a little bit of spin on it. I'm thinking more along the lines of team sessions. I don't really have a term for them, but I just think about team building. That is not a one day event over one year, but rather a team building session that is 1 hour over an entire year. So just think maybe 1 hour a month, 1 hour every quarter. That's what I think can create. That's just another opportunity for leaders, another tool for leaders to use that can create and inject some Positivity on their teams.

14:34 - So when it comes to team building, I'm just trying to think, what does that look like? What would you recommend? And how do I figure out what team building event to go to? Because I have been to some pretty weirdo one, and it is weird. And we just kind of stand around looking at each other like, why are we here? So what kind of advice would you give for how do I pick a good team building event?

15:03 - I love that. When you say I've been to some unusual events in the past, that takes me back to many moons ago, and I was working on a ropes course, and we would run teams through ropes courses, and you would see people come in going, what does this have to do with my everyday job? So I completely get the importance of having the connection between the team event and the work and ensuring that there's some glue there. I think that's a good point. But when I think about these team sessions or these events, this is kind of how I've categorized them in my own head. When I think about these events and I think about leaders who are thinking, okay, I want to go and try something. I think about who is this for? And what it really makes me sit back and I see my family as my team. I think about my family and I think about what we go and we do and how I try to interject positivity on our team. And let's just say I think we need some positivity on the team. My family. And I'm going to say, hey, let's. Go for a hike. Let's go out and go to the park and go for a hike.

16:13 - How did that go?

16:14 - Exactly right. My kids might not enjoy it. My husband may not find it kind of what is driving his positivity either. And so the most important thing is it's not up to me. It's not up to me as the leader of the team to determine what is the positivity event or the team event. But really as a leader, I think what's important here is you ask the team. It's important for me to ask my family, hey, what do we want to go do? That's fun. Not to say that my team is my family at work, but we do spend quite a bit of time together. It is a conversation in my mind, there's a conversation between the team to really understand what is it that we are all going to enjoy and have fun together and bring some positivity into our team, whatever it is that we. Do on a day to day basis. I can see that working for many teams, whether or not you're remote and you're doing some sort of virtual wine tasting all the way to teams that are currently meeting face to face and having some sort of maybe lunch event or a potluck, you know, whatever it is, but it has to be team driven as the leader. I think what's important here is you have to ask the team, what do you all want to do?

17:29 - I love that. For one, it takes the pressure off the leader having to figure out what are we going to do each month or each quarter. I love that it gives the team the autonomy to kind of pick their own activity because they may be more of a gaming mindset and if they're not, they may think that games are just dumb. And so you're giving them kind of an autonomy to figure out what is it that they enjoy doing that we could all kind of do together? And then do you set some parameters around it, like the length of time or when it happens or anything like that where you're like you kind of need to stay in this zone, no alcohol at work.

18:04 - Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. You know what, I listen to you and you make the comment around, make it about the team, give them some level of autonomy. That also just takes me back to in the past when I've had team sessions and I'm crafting it for the team and it's what I think is important for the team and there is a time and a place for that, there is no doubt. But you're right. Just thinking through, how do you get their involvement? Because there have been times when I've had these team sessions where I've held team events or I've coordinated something and maybe not everybody showed up or not everybody participated and I as the leader, felt like I've not delivered on something. And just like it is when I'm doing something with my family, I can't have everybody be happy and enjoy it unless we've all said together, this is what we want to go do. And that to me unlocks a feature of commitment, of buy in, of participation, of interest. I know we've covered it already. And I want to emphasize again the importance of really understanding the team, what works for them, what doesn't work for them, and don't ask if you're not going to live up to it. Right. Yeah, I've seen leaders who will ask and then all of a sudden it's, well, we said this and we're doing this and it's just unclear. So if you're really wanting to drive some of this positivity in team type sessions, really just asking and taking their lead, the other parameters for me, I don't really focus too much on time. I do think time is important, 60 minutes. I think the most important thing again is you ask them if they're interested. There's some discussion around how often if you're doing it at work, actually during the workday as leaders, you really have to think about, does this make sense? How do we do it? Do we do it during the lunch hour? I think there's a number of things you have to think about. You have to ensure that your own leadership is approving of it. But if you have some level of. Autonomy, it is a community type of group, or maybe it's a school team or something of that nature. I think it really is up to the team members when it happens, how long it happens, and I think Sky's the limit is really what I would leave with.

20:24 - Yeah. I love that.

20:25 - I do have a couple of other kind of keys when I think about these team sessions. So, number one, we've already covered and hammered it a couple of times here. It's up to them. Absolutely think it's up to them. The second thing is I got caught up early on in my leadership around attendance. I wanted everybody to show up. I wanted everybody to participate.

20:46 - Okay.

20:46 - And we've talked a little bit about it's up to them. It's their session. I think this is the same thing here. As leaders, let's not get caught up in who shows up, who participates, who's happy, who's not happy. It's their session and let them get what they want out of it. It's not about us as leaders. The third thing is important is as leaders of a team, whatever type of team you have is it has to be ongoing. If we allow a focus on this one and done approach, it's one every two years, one every five years, one when there's a new team member, and then nothing happens, I think you lose some of the excitement and the connection and the relationship building and the trust that's going on in the team. So it has to be ongoing again, what fits the team cool.

21:37 - I like what you said, even about the ongoing, because I have been in other situations before where it's like, okay, what do we want to do? And we get everybody all jazzed up, and you can feel the check the box as we walk out the door to go do what we do. And so you almost want to say at the end of the event, did it take us two years to come up with this?

21:59 - I had a colleague who would call those types of events quote, unquote, command performances. It does feel like that I have to show up, I have to check the box, and then I'm going to parachute out of here and get back. To the real world. Right. Real life. And that's not what these sessions are very different. You're absolutely right. It's ongoing, it's purposeful, and it's inclusive of their ideas. Yeah. So I've covered a couple of things here. I want to hear what you are doing with your team and what do you focus on in order to increase or push the positivity within your team building?

22:37 - Yeah. Well, Pepper, this has just been a great discussion. And although I could just talk about this for hours, our goal really has been to keep our episode shorter rather than longer. And so I'm just noticing that we're here at our 25 minutes Mark. So I'm just going to throw this out there because I do I have my top five things, and I would like to dig into two of them, but I feel like that might make for a really long episode. So what do you think about us just continuing to record and we break this into two episodes? You know, maybe our listeners will appreciate that we keep it short and they can marinate on the three things that they have for now from you.

23:15 - I like it. I think you're right on the money. I didn't realize it's already been 25 minutes. Unbelievable.

23:20 - It goes by so fast.

23:22 - That sounds like a plan. So people who want to hear more ideas come back next week. We'll have another episode. Kim's going to cover all of her ideas of injecting positivity in your team.

23:33 - Well, I enjoyed that one, Pepper. So what will you be doing with the rest of your day?

23:37 - So today it is time for my son to get a haircut.

23:41 - Okay. Yeah, going to get him haircut.

23:45 - Since COVID, I've actually had the opportunity. To cut his hair a couple of times.

23:49 - So you're going to do it yourself?

23:51 - Oh, yeah, I do. Yeah. So it's time his hair grows so fast. And so I guess we're like probably. Three or four weeks since he's had his last haircut. And so it's time for me to pull out the Clippers and clean them up. You do the whole all of that, girl. I do the whole guard on guard off the whole deal.

24:16 - You are brave. So good luck to you.

24:24 - This time, though, I will tell you, I've kind of clipped his hair, I don't know, probably four or five times. Now, and I have not touched the top. So his hair on top has just been growing and growing and growing, getting out there. And today I've said to him, it is time that mom is going to try her hand at shaping the top. So that's going to be the new thing for me today.

24:49 - Well, listen, it's hair and it'll grow back. And if it turns out a little different than normal, it just makes for good pictures and good memories for 1015 years from now.

25:01 - That's exactly right. Like this was that day making memories when Mama made me sit in the chair and let her cut my hair.

25:08 - That's right.

25:10 - What about you? What do you got going on?

25:12 - Well, I have to go do one of my least favorite things, and that is return a few things. My husband, he will tell you that I am the return Queen because I just returned so many things, but it's just because I like to see them in my own space. If it's clothing, I like to see it in my own mirror. And if it's a household item, I like to see it in the space where it's going to live. For the next several years. And if it doesn't work, it's going back. So he doesn't do that. He gets it. He likes it. He keeps it. I just got to go get all the bags, get the receipts, get them in the car and go do my least favorite task.

25:49 - It's an afternoon of running errands. I totally get it.

25:52 - That's it. That's it.

25:53 - All right. Those of you listening. Thanks so much for hanging out with us. What do you think about what we just talked about? How do you read your team from a positivity perspective? How do you know what you need to tweak what do you do on a daily basis?

26:05 - We look forward to hearing from you. So to connect with us, go to our website at extrashotofleadership.com and come back again for an Extra Shot of Leadership.