5 Ideas to Refresh and Recharge

0:09 - I just think back about how we started before. It was kind of like, how are we doing?

0:16 - When I think we're going to get a new listener and they're going to start at episode one. Just skip skip episode one and go. To like seven, eight, nine, because then. We started hitting our groove. And if you really want to just skip all the way to good stuff, go into, I don't know, episode 20.

0:30 - Or so, I don't know. I will tell you, the one that's hot is the dress one. The dress code, does what I wear matter? Which I was really surprised by. But yeah, if you're new listener, you haven't heard anything. Go back to does what I wear matter?

0:44 - Yeah. That's a good one.

0:45 - So hey, kimberly.

0:48 - Hey, pepper.

0:49 - How are you doing?

0:50 - I'm good. I'm pumped up. I really am. We've had some good things going on here lately, and I just I'm feeling a little revived and refreshed.

0:59 - I am, too. And maybe we haven't been in here, but we've been doing some stuff outside of the studio.

1:04 - That's right.

1:05 - And this last one that we did was fun. It was so much fun, so much energy. I absolutely loved it. But I don't want to talk about this last one. I want to talk about the one we did two days before that. So tell me a little bit about kind of what you loved about it, because I know we both still have a little bit of a pep in our step from that. And we loved it. It was so much fun. But I haven't heard from you exactly. Like, what was your big takeaway?

1:33 - Well, first of all, I love that we had a lady reach out to us and say, hey, I have this women's group and we're wanting to do something and get the community together and get us all recharged ready for spring to get back together. Covet happens and we want to get back together and do things together. And I was like, oh, yes, we're in. And so we went and delivered a message there. And I just think that it felt a little bit like that phrase preaching to the choir, because as we were giving them our top things to do to refresh and revive, it just hit me, and I just started doing some self reflection. Like, there's a little more that I can do here. Even though I'm feeling good, it hit me. And then it also just felt good to give back to the community. We're not charging for that. Right. We just like to go and give positive messages.

2:23 - And it helps.

2:24 - Yes.

2:25 - And I love that comment about it not only helps maybe somebody who's in the audience listening, but absolutely. For me. I sit there. My reflection point during the conversation was, gosh, it's hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that there really are people that are reengaging in their communities because COVID has been such a damper. And for me, I feel like I've been reengaged for some time, right. Work. I've been still coming into the office. I've been in the office for almost over a year. I haven't necessarily done a huge work from home type of environment, right. And I don't know, for me, things have been kind of normal. And when I was sitting there, I did I just kind of sat there and I was like, wow, there really are people still working from home. Or their work environment is just different from what Maya has been. And there are a lot of people out there who want to hear this message of, hey, you need to wake up. Let's come back. It's time to reengage. And I think specifically, I heard somebody recently also say kind of reengage, put your goals back on the front burner and let's really start thinking about what am I doing? And that was my big kind of takeaway from that conversation we had with that group of women was, hey, there are still some people who are in a different space and reviving and refreshing. I liked your comment about kind of cleaning out the closet. It's spring. We're past spring almost already. Let's revive and refresh.

4:00 - Yeah, I love that. We just started talking about, hey, since it is such a good topic and we got really good feedback on it, we're still getting feedback from that conversation. And I just thought, man, this would just be a really good episode, so why don't we just recap it right here? And then yesterday we were talking to your son yesterday.

4:22 - How is he?

4:23 - He's like ten years old, comes up with he's like, hey, Kim, got a question for you. Okay. He's like a leadership question. I was like, whoa, okay, let me. Get my brain going here. And he said, can a leader still be a leader if they're not leading someone or something?

4:42 - I had to think about it too. I was like, what are you asking? Exactly.

4:46 - Yeah. So there was this moment of silence for me, and I was like, I think I have it. I do think you can still be a leader without leading someone or something. And it ties back to this, because sometimes a leader just give gives, right? And there's got to be a time where they can sit back, relax, unwind, refresh, recharge their own body, their own mind, their own self, so that they can go again, because it's really about the people, right? And go give again to go and help lead people. That was my response.

5:15 - And I think you're spot on when I think about that, right? To me, I listen to his question, and I really do think once a leader, always a leader. You just have that right? You have that ability to lead, inspire, think about others. You almost can't turn it off. And some of us, it might take us a little bit of extra time to work it out and get there, right. Some of us, it might be a little bit more natural depending on kind of how you were born and how. You were raised and if you want to do it right. Yeah, that's right. Your willingness to do it. But I agree with you. There is time. I think as leaders, you got to sit back and take a big breath. And we've talked about that from time to time, I think about in our episodes, and I remember back, we did the Pit Stop. We did some other conversations on this, but in particular, this one that we did a couple of weeks ago I thought was like, knock it out of the park, right? It was so good, so concise, and I love the message and the conversation and the tips. Right. And granted, here we are kind of patting ourselves on the back, but we did. We got some really good feedback on it. So where do you want to start with reviving and refreshing?

6:35 - Well, in that day, we gave them our top five tips, and I think that's kind of what we do on this podcast. We're like, here are some very practical things you can go do. You don't have to get out of spreadsheet. And so I thought we should just recap them, just start with number one, which was get connected.

6:49 - Get connected.

6:50 - Get connected. And so what does that mean to you? Get connected?

6:54 - It definitely does not mean using my phone. Right. By get connected, I think it's all about seeing somebody else. I always say these words and makes you feel like that's a little weird, but I think it's about touching somebody else. You give somebody else a big hug. It's about eyeball to eyeball. It is sitting in the space of somebody else and really listening to somebody else. And I think, oh, man. For me, life gets complicated. It gets busy, and all of a sudden I find myself picking up the phone to text versus even call anymore. And that's not what it's about. Get connected for me, means I got to talk to somebody else. What about you?

7:42 - That's good, because I need to respond to an email right now. And I think, you know what? I just hit my brain. I was like, you know what? I'm just going to call them and give them the information. I'm just going to call them so we can just have some I can hear their voice. They can hear my voice. Yeah. I love that. Well, me and my studies, I can't help it. I like to go, your studies are good. And so I read this Mayo Clinic study, and it was about connecting. And what does that do for your brain and how does that affect your body? And the study actually shows that not only does the connecting people with people one on one increase your sense of belonging. But it also increases your happiness. Like, there's real data increases your happiness, decreases your stress, helps you cope with trauma, whatever that may be. Whatever kind of trauma is kind of in your life at the moment. And it also helps you have fewer health problems, like the study shows, like the data shows, you can have fewer health problems when you connect with other people. But whether that be a group of people, even at work, or with a group of girlfriends or a group of guy friends or a book club or something, just getting connected with people can do those types of things for your health and your brain and your body. And I love that. I'm like, Why would you not want to do that? Who doesn't want to have your health problems?

9:02 - I'm in that line. I'm like your health problems. I'm going that way. Sign me up for that. The other thing that I think about when I'm listening to you talk a little bit about the research and the data is on my phone. I don't know, does your phone do this? But my phone, I think it's weekly. It gives me a report. It's like, how much time have you spent on the phone this week? Right up or is it down? I really am trying to get that metric down each week, and some weeks it goes up. And I'm like, man, it went up. I was like, really? On the phone that much? I think if I asked my kids that question, they would probably say, you're on the phone all the time, mom. You're always looking at the phone. You're never listening. You're not talking to us. And sometimes we actually have to look at you in the face and go, put the phone down, mom. And I'm checking for work, or I'm doing there. Unfortunately, this thing has become really part of my hand. I almost can't let it go. So my whole point to say all of this is I'm going to think about that percentage and the number of hours that I spend a week on the device and try to compare that to the number of hours I'm spending with people.

10:14 - It's good.

10:14 - I really challenged myself to think, what am I doing more of? And who am I engaging with? How am I engaging? Is it really eyeball to eyeball listening and really connecting? I think that's important.

10:25 - Absolutely. Even your most important relationships. Like, my husband is like, Kim, are you listening to this right now? Because he would say the same thing about me. The one thing I will say about getting connected is, yes, you need to kind of unplug and refresh and revive and recharge. But getting connected takes effort. Staying connected with your friends, your family, it takes a little effort. So it's not just going to be like, okay, I'm not going to work today. You actually have to reach out and call them or go and say yes to things. So that would be my number one tip, is just say yes to things.

10:58 - I think that's great. And the other thing I would say is I fall prey to this and it's, well, they haven't reached out to me, so why should I reach out to them? They must not be all that interested in a relationship. That's not good enough. Right. We got to push ourselves to reach out and connect and try to find that person or people who are also interested in connecting.

11:19 - Yeah, because they're on their hamster wheel. You just need to help them get off that's, right? Help them get off the hamster wheel.

11:24 - Go to coffee, do something, anything. Go for a walk, even a walk around the block. I did that recently with my daughter, and that was a lot of fun. Just good conversations come out of it and people start talking about different things. I'm not saying she's people, but just in general. When you take that time away to get connected, new information can result anyhow. All right, so let's go to number two, because our time is going like.

11:50 - Speaking of new information, did you see that? Oh, today show quality.

11:57 - So the next one on my list and I think it's our list the next one on our list is seeking quality information. So to revive and refresh, be thoughtful about the information you are seeking. So tell me a little bit about what that means to you.

12:14 - For me, it's about what you read, what you listen to, what you watch on TV. And that was never so apparent for me as it was a few weeks ago. It just hit me like a ton of bricks because I was listening to country music. I'm a country girl, and I like, good old country song. And there came a song that had a really good beat, and I was just humming along with it, and it was a real catchy tune, right? So you could learn the words really quickly. So I caught myself singing that song that day, that evening, the next morning, and I finally realized what I was singing and the words of that song, it was about a husband cheating on his wife and all that nonsense. And then when I realized what the words were, I started my brain going in a negative moment, like, I wonder what my husband's doing, which is absolutely ridiculous. And so I was like, okay, what are you doing over there? So it just reminded me that that stuff is minor as it can be, can really affect your brain. And so what do I do to compensate that? I had to think about that. So I go back to my good old Christian music, which I also love, and I hit Way FM and start putting some positive back in because it can really start to spiral downhill. What if I went in there and was like, Honey, where you been? Where were you last night anyway?

13:36 - Let me see your phone. Open that up. So you're texting who you're talking to exactly, right?

13:41 - It can just take you to downhill spiral. That is just totally unnecessary.

13:45 - I'm with you. It's funny because sometimes I sit there and I think, okay, am I always going to agree with Kimberly? Yes. On this one? Yes, I am, because it is absolutely true. When I think about the music and the words, I'm right there with you. I listen to some of those same songs and I walk away going, are those even the best words? And how quick we pick up on it. The other day, my kids it's a commercial. It was a commercial. I don't know. We recorded it or whatever. I don't know what that stuff is called on the TV, but it was recorded. They were watching some old show, and there was a commercial of some show on, right? And the commercial was about I like big butts. You remember that song?

14:29 - Oh, yeah.

14:30 - I like Big Butts. My kids cannot stop singing it now.

14:34 - Oh, my goodness.

14:36 - It's not the worst song, but do I really want my kids singing about I like big Butts and I can't lie? No, I really don't. Things can be so catchy and so quick that we really just don't even process the words that we're saying and what it all means. And it makes me think about, like, this echo chamber. I think in the Internet, sometimes we can get into our own echo chamber, and we're saying things out and they're getting repeated back to us, and it takes us down that road, just like you said with your husband. But maybe it's not your husband. Maybe it's other beliefs. Maybe it's other ideas. Maybe it's societal standards.

15:14 - Yeah. Political things. And then you get into this thing on social media. It's cuckoo.

15:19 - Yeah. So I love this second one here. Seek quality information. It takes me back to a sermon. I was in church and I heard the sermon, and the pastor was saying, do not seek knowledge from fools.

15:36 - Hello.

15:37 - And my kids were there. We were all listening to this pastor talk about this. It was so interesting as I listened to him, how often I seek knowledge from fools. Who am I really listening to and who am I really reading and who am I touching base with online? And what is the information they're really sharing with me and are they foolish? It was such a great kind of reflection point for me, sitting in there, really thinking about what am I getting out of this? So seeking quality info, the information we receive day in and day out absolutely creates our frame of mind. Whether or not it's music, it's the Internet, it's news, it's your Facebook, it's all of the social media that we interact with. Anything else you'd have there?

16:24 - No, nothing other than how do you get back to Positivity, right? How do you get that information to be positive information versus negative information going in?

16:37 - Which takes us to point number three.

16:39 - How about that?

16:41 - That was today show quality. I think both of us, we are knocking it out of the park today. Okay, so speaking positively, that's number three, and the point here is it starts with us.

16:53 - Yes.

16:54 - It starts when you think about what echo chamber you are in, if it's negative or if it's positive, it starts with us, and what are we saying to ourselves? And really, I always think you say this, and you said so. Well, it starts with when you wake up, you walk into the bathroom, you look in the mirror, and the first thing you say to yourself is it positive or is it negative? What are you saying? What are you saying in the morning?

17:20 - Yeah. Well, listen, this is where I need to take a dose of my own medicine. Right here, because it's the whole, like, do you walk into the mirror, look in the mirror, and then pick apart the worst thing that you don't like about your body? Like, oh, girl, those thighs. Those thighs are oh, honey, that tummy. I mean, do you really? Come on, that tummy. So it takes me back to another study. I can't help it with my studies.

17:46 - Go with it.

17:47 - There's a study that shows that it's another Mayo Clinic study that your brain recognizes and responds to your voice more than any other voice out there.

17:59 - Right.

17:59 - It doesn't even have to be audible. You can just be thinking it, and your brain hears it, and it responds to that. And so when you're like, oh, those sides. Well, what do you think is going to happen to those sides? It's negative information going in. And I just think about, you know, if I had a girlfriend showing up at my front door, and I opened the door in the first thing in the morning, I'm like, Girl, that's no, you're going to find the most positive thing about her. Like, I love that shirt. Oh, my gosh, you look so pretty today. Those shoes. I'm so glad you're here. Why do we not do that to our own selves?

18:34 - I don't know. That's a good question. And maybe some of us are a little more selfcritical than others, but you're absolutely right. That first interaction we have with ourselves in the morning when we look in front of that mirror likely dictates the rest of the day.

18:50 - Yes.

18:50 - And really thinking about and challenging ourselves. And I'm speaking to myself here, too, because I got up this morning, and I looked in the mirror, and I was all, girl, those eyes. You got to do something with your face. Yes. And I think it's just from there, we either have a good day or a bad day, honestly, at least for me. And I'm challenging myself right now. To look in the mirror and go, okay, you are looking good.

19:18 - My hair is shiny today.

19:21 - We all got to do that. Starting with speaking positively to ourselves. You can extend that positivity from ourselves to who you're hanging out with.

19:30 - Yes.

19:31 - Right. Who is in your circle, in your bubble you're interacting with, and what are you hearing?

19:36 - Yeah. And it's not even just that day, but it's day after day after day. And there's this quote that is the words you speak become the house that you live in. Right. So that's creating the world. That's creating your future. That's creating all of that for you. So start with something like, girl, you are rocking it today. Or, Dude, those muscles. Look at that something. Pick the most positive thing and just speak positively.

20:06 - What was the quote of the words you speak? Is the house you live in.

20:09 - The words you speak become the house that you live in. So, yeah, you want to have this downhill spiral of the house that you live in. Just keep speaking the ugly stuff.

20:19 - No, you can launch from there. I'm totally rabbit trail right now, but it really makes me think about the house you live in and, does anybody want to come to your house? So, as a leader, if you've created that house for yourself, you've likely created that house for others. And it's hard for people to follow a leader who is negative, hard for people to follow a leader whose constant message is like, that's not good enough, or, Why didn't we? Or can this be better?

20:51 - I don't want to go to that office.

20:53 - Yeah. Really thinking about the house that you have created. That's a great quote. There's just something there that I can apply in my life. All right, we got to move on number four. So we've covered. Speak positively. This is a hard turn because I just took that rabbit trail, but our number four here is learning something new. So revive and refresh. Kind of kick it back up. Get yourself a little bit more awake. Learning something new. What have you learned new recently?

21:21 - This is really funny because it has nothing to do with leadership, has nothing to do with anything else. But we were again invited to another event that we said yes to.

21:28 - Yep.

21:29 - And it was just interesting. There was a food critic there. A food critic, and he works for The New York Times, and he's really, really good at what he does. I mean, he's just world renowned. Everybody knows about this guy. And he was talking about the process of judging restaurants and being a food critic. And what goes into all that? I had no idea. I thought they just showed up to the restaurant, ate the food. Do they like it? Do they not? And they wrote a report about it.

21:57 - Yes.

21:57 - No, there's so much more that goes into it. And to me, it's like it's just something that just charges my brain. When I learn something. I love that. It just makes me feel like I'm at my best or I'm thriving or I'm accomplished because something else is new in my world. I don't know what it is about. There there's probably a study about that, but I don't have it yet.

22:18 - But that's a great point, right? When we say learn something new, it doesn't necessarily mean you've got to go and actually apply a new skill. You went to a lunch. You heard somebody talk a little bit about something. That his day job, right? What he does day in and day out, and you're like, that's interesting. I just picked up something additional information, right? Learning something about a food critic. And it just recharges you. That's the most important thing, is really figuring out what you can learn and recharging yourself. That's the whole point of this. Revive and refresh. If you're feeling a little like, I'm still trying to get recharged from COVID, and I'm dragging, learn something new. I'm picking up gardening. I'm trying to figure it out. I know it's not hard. It might not seem like it is, but for me, I'm not a great grand thumb. Most things are going to die under my care, except for your family. But I am not that great at it. And I'm under the tutelage of my mother because my mother is a great gardener. She does a fantastic job. She's got a great garden, and it's primarily people started asking me questions. Is it vegetables? Is it flowers? Is it herbs? Primarily, it's going to be plants and flowers. She does a great job, and so now she's trying to teach me, okay, try this one. Or what about this one? Or this would go good here. Or have you tried this? Or these are drought resistant. We live in South Texas, and it gets very dry, very hot, and so you've got to find things that will live in this climate. And it's been so fun.

23:55 - Oh, you're really liking it. Because some people are like, oh, I have to do it. But you're liking it.

23:59 - I love it. I was finding myself, and I continue to find myself going, where can I plant something else? I'm ready to go. I can do something else this weekend. Now we're hitting summertime, and it's probably not a good time to plan, but I am thoroughly enjoying the fruits of the labor. I get to go outside, and I water, and I see new buds, new flowers, all of those things coming in. It's just a lot of fun. So I'm feeling that level of revive and refresh through gardening and getting outside.

24:27 - I love that. And what I love about it, especially if you plant perennials, because next year you get to see the fruits of your labor again. I just love that part. That's really cool. And then a few annuals here and there, and it does it's like the new Blooms. It just breathes life into your yard again. It's really cool to see.

24:46 - So you started out the very beginning of this conversation, talking about our opportunity to speak to this group of women and what you loved about it. I asked you, I was like, what was it that you loved about it? And you mentioned, I love that we have the opportunity to give back. That is number five on our list.

25:02 - Nice.

25:04 - Finding out opportunities to get involved in your community and give back in some way or another. And I loved what you shared at the session, and I want you to share it again. I don't know if you remember, but I remember. And you talked about what you love, and that likely there's something you love that you're willing to do for nothing. Right. So take us down that conversation again.

25:27 - Yeah. I think this one of giving back, really. For me, it is the quickest way for instant gratification. We're all about instant gratification these days. And so for me, when I can go do something for someone else, help someone else, for me, it's just like a lightning bolt to my soul. And this is where I'm like, it doesn't have to be hard, right. Giving something that comes easy for you, whether it is time, whether it is money. Sometimes for people, like, the easiest thing is writing the check, but sometimes it's just giving of your talents, something that comes naturally for you. I would do that for free if somebody would let me do that. For me, it's like decorating. I love to decorate. I think that would have been my other career choice.

26:14 - You're so good at it.

26:15 - And I'm not gone down this other path of training and all of that. I would love to be an interior decorator. Now, I probably need some schooling to get better at it, but if someone will just let me come to their house and just go all their stuff in their shelves, I love that. And I would do it for free, day after day after day.

26:36 - That's your new business name. When you retire, it's going to be the Jesure.

26:40 - The Jer. You're good at it. And I don't mean I've got to go shop for new stuff. I figure out, what do you have? Right. And I'll just rearrange it a little bit. I love doing that. And so when I think about, well, how does that apply to the community? Sometimes there are events and they just need someone to do the tablescape. Right?

26:58 - Yeah.

26:59 - He's like, sign me up. I will do the deco and the tablescape. That is my wheelhouse.

27:03 - I love that.

27:04 - And so I just challenged people to find, what is that thing that you can do? We ask the women in the audience what is their thing that they do that they love to do? There are some that love to fold laundry. Okay, well, then. You get to fold up all the tablecloths when they're washed or whatever.

27:22 - That's right.

27:23 - Or there was a lady that was a welder. There was people that love to polish silver. I'm like, we have got a job for you. Whatever it is, there is someone that is needing your talent, whether it be a friend or somewhere in the community.

27:34 - And making time for it.

27:36 - Yes.

27:36 - Right. Once you know that special gift you have that you are willing to share freely, making time for it and it is hard to find the time. There's no doubt we are running. There's lots going on. We are running our families. We're running our teams. If we have teams, whatever it is, we're busy. But the most important thing about this whole conversation today is really making a concerted effort to say, you know what, I'm going to find that 1 hour in order to do this because I love what you said. I want the lightning bolt to my soul. Yes, we all want that lightning bolt. We all want to feel that level of man, that felt good. It felt good to give back what I have as my gift freely to somebody else who needed it, who needed a little bit of help. And I love that comment about if it's a tablescape all the way to maybe you like to cook and you want to take a casserole to somebody just out of the blue, sharing that talent, gosh, why wouldn't we want to do it? It's another one of our five tips for reviving and refreshing.

28:40 - That's good. I have a question for you. So what if I'm sitting here, I'm like, but I don't have a talent to share, right? What is my talent? How do I even figure out what can I go do?

28:54 - Everybody's got a talent.

28:56 - Everybody has one and it doesn't matter what it is.

28:59 - I think some of us have a little bit of self doubt that this really isn't a good talent. You have a talent. I completely agree. Everybody's got a talent. And it's likely that somebody is coming to you going, hey, can you help me with can you show me how do you know how you have a talent and it doesn't matter what it is? Somebody else would love to have your skill set in some way or some fashion. It would just be so appreciated. What do you got on that? Because you got something in there. I can see it cooking over there.

29:26 - Well, I would say if you really don't know, just ask ask somebody that is in your circle that you're really close to. If I was going to go give back to somebody in the community or give somewhere, what are some things that I'm good at? And I mean, maybe you have the gift of gab. Well, guess what? You're the greeter at the door.

29:45 - There you go.

29:46 - Welcoming people through the door. Or maybe you have this I don't know, skill of graphics or something that's a little more talented and you don't really think about that. Maybe it's your business, but maybe it could be something as simple as creating the invitation. Invitation that's simple like that. Whatever. Everybody has something.

30:07 - That's right. Everybody has something. And now all of you have something. You have this awesome episode that you can share with all of your friends because who doesn't need a little bit of revive and refresh? The one thing I always love about these episodes is there's an opportunity to reflect. So you've heard five things. Get involved, see quality info. Hopefully you've been writing them down as we've been talking. On a scale of one to five, which one are you doing the best at and which one do you might need to revive a little bit? What can you go and start thinking about deliberately including in your life? Get after it. Go get it then.

30:44 - Speaking of sharing, listen and getting connected. If you love this podcast or if you know of someone else that needs to hear this message, don't forget to share this podcast, then come back again for an Extra Shot of Leadership. You.